Ongoing recovery and looking for a job

Recovery continues.   Last week I started getting some exercise, swimming at the local city pool and riding my bike -- rode out to Ocean Beach on Friday (12.1 m, 448 ft elevation gain) -- and just about didn't make it back (but I did).  Feels good to be getting out and getting stronger.

Still having trouble with eating -- it's a real chore.  My swallowing muscles were weakened by the radiation, and that makes everything difficult to swallow.  It seems to be improving, but it's slow.  The other problem is that my saliva glands are severely compromised, so my mouth is extremely dry.  They say that my saliva glands will recover over the next 2 years or so, so that should get better.

I've started looking for a new job -- my old company folded May 1st, so we've been running on savings, COBRA and state disability.  It's daunting to be on the market again.  My first interview is today, at Facebook.  I woudn't have considered them, but my old manager (from vmware and hillview) is there, and I'd love to work for him again.  We'll see what happens.  From what I've seen so far, it looks like a really great place to work -- they seem to do everything they can to keep developers happy, and that sounds nice for a change :)

Cancer free

I am apparently cancer free.

My MRI results were so good that my radiation oncologist was giggling.  She said the scans are so clear that I can skip the customary 12-week PET scan (which is extremely unusual).

Now all I have to do is get my strength back.

Thank you all again for your support!

-Hans

MRI preliminary results good!

Today I had my first post-treatment scan (MRI -- A miserable 40 solid minutes in that damned tube) -- and the preliminary results are good!  The primary (huge) tumor in my tongue appears to be completely gone, and the lymph node metastases look normal as well :)

I get the official results on Thursday.

Hallelujah.

That you all for the love and the continued positive energy :)

Post-wedding crash

After David and Bonnie's wonderful wedding in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Northeast Georgia, I crashed hard.  My energy went down to the lowest it had been since I finished radiation, if not worse.  I think I just wasn't eating enough, and the extra energy expended traveling overwhelmed my fragile state.  I've been clawing back, trying to eat more, and I quit taking oxycontin, which I think had some negative (withdrawal) effects, but overall after 2 weeks I'm starting to feel better again.  My biggest problem right now is that I'm not sleeping -- I'm taking 30mg of Temazepam in the evening, and waking up about 4:00 totally wired.  Maybe the oxycontin withdrawal.  The Doctor's not sure, but he's giving me something else to help me sleep.  Once I get that sorted I think I can get back on the horse, and start looking for a job!

Still here

Has it really been 2 months since I posted? (Why yes, yes it has).

Well, I'm still here!  Finished radiation and chemo almost 5 weeks ago, and I think I'm starting to feel a little better.  It's been a rough road; my expectations for recovery were out of step with reality.  The first couple weeks after radiation is over actually get worse, then it levels out a bit, and finally, *finally* I can see some light at the end of the tunnel.

My biggest struggle has been getting enough to eat.  I still can't really eat anything solid, so I'm surviving on protein shakes and the like.  Mostly, I haven't been eating enough. I've lost almost 50 pounds all told, which is way more than I was supposed to, but the doctors don't seem too concerned.  The last couple of weeks of treatment I was borderline dehydrated, but I managed to get through without IV fluids.  At least I'm getting enough fluids now.

I'm pushing myself to get better so I can make it to David and Bonnie's wedding on June 1st in Georgia.  I'm starting to get out and get some exercise, and pushing myself to eat more so I can get stronger.

I've been doing a really poor job of communicating with everyone -- thanks to everyone for your kind cards, letters, emails, care packages, plants, flowers and pets :)

Progress and pain

Finally an update!

I started feeling really bad on Thursday of my first week of radiation (the day after my last post) -- I had rescheduled my daily radiation appointment from 12:20 to 8:30, and was planning to go back to work on Friday,  but Thursday after radiation I was just wiped out -- with one of my classic headaches associated with throat and ear pain (from the cancer).  It seemed to get worse that first week, and was pretty constant for at least a week after that.  Then, suddenly last weekend, the headache cleared (mostly), and I started feeling semi-human again some of the time.  That must mean the tumor's shrinking!  Cool.

About the time that I started feeling better from the throat/ear/headache,  the radiation caught up with me, and my throat started feeling really raw.  I'm having trouble eating just about everything -- swallowing is very painful, and most foods sting my throat something awful.  I'm down to mostly smoothies, shakes, yogurt, and cottage cheese.  Jane made me some scrambled eggs today, but they were pretty hard to swallow.

The radiation and chemo also seem to be sapping my energy.  I was able to work for an hour or so yesterday, but then I was wiped out and slept for several hours.  But with the awesome support of my wonderful wife, I've been able to rest and not have to do too much.  Thanks Jane :)

Also, big shout outs to our friends Zoomer and Pinky, who came through with awesome delivered meals last weekend!  Thanks guys!

So far so good

I had my second infusion and first radiation treatment yesterday, and my second radiation treatment today. Everything went fine, and didn't seem to affect me at all (apart from the pre-infusion benadryl putting me to sleep).  No headache this time (well, no worse than my usual).

I know the radiation is cumulative and will start to really get unpleasant in a few weeks, but for now it's not bad (apart from being bound in the plastic mesh while the business end of the radiation device moves around me making ominous sounds).

I also got my radiation treatments moved from 12:20pm to 8:30am, so I'll at least be able to get to works a few days a week.  Speaking of work, it remains unstable, but there are some potentially interesting developments on the horizon...

more later.